I’m calling this a family recipe because no one seems to want to own it anymore.

I’ve searched high and low for a recipe just like my family used to make it, and I can’t find one for the life of me. Everywhere you go, you’ll find sad dips presenting a sea of unflavored white sour cream with a disappointing smattering of shredded cheddar on top.

My mom claims she found this recipe on the back of a bag of Tostitos^® in the 70’s but even now, their own website doesn’t have any such recipe. The only thing that is close is this abomination that, I assume, is only acceptable if you’re exchanging your vows inside the pits at a NASCAR race. Even respectable sources can’t help but mess with the formula. CREAM CHEESE?! I mean, really now.

The only source I was able to find that said anything that sounded right was the Wikipedia article on 7-layer dip, of all places.

“Originally commercial jalapeño bean dip. … Some early recipes substituted processed commercial jalapeño cheese dip”
Seven-layer dip article

DAMN STRAIGHT! That’s clearly the right way to do it. Judging by the fact that my mom was asked to bring this to every single event we ever went to for 25 years of my life, including funerals, other people felt the same way. So forget about all the other 7-Layer Dips. They are mere pretenders to the throne.

And Tostitos^®? I’m not an unreasonable man. If you decide you want to renounce your misguided ways, dump your old nasty dip recipe, and come back to your original, all I ask for is a small footnote at the bottom of the post acknowledging that I was the one to insist that this superior recipe not be allowed to be lost to time.

A double batch (pictured) fits in a 9×13 pan. If only making one batch, go ahead and use a pie plate, it’ll fit perfectly.